One of the most profound experiences we can have in our lives is the connection we have with other human beings. Positive and supportive relationships will help us to feel healthier, happier, and more satisfied with our lives. Whether it be with family, friends or a significant other; personal relationships are needed for us to survive. A tip in building personal relationships is accepting and celebrating differences.
One of the best examples that highlights this aspect and the intricacy of a relationship is in one of my favorite movies “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”. The story involves a break up with lovers Clementine and Joel who have an imbalance in their personalities, devastated by it; Clementine undergoes a procedure to erase all her memories of Joel from her mind. Upon discovering this, Joel then does the same but the two meet in their memories and realize that deleting the memories was a mistake. The operation would still finish but the two of them meet again and would be made aware of their past relationship leaving them both traumatized but still in love.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind calls upon something personal within the viewer. It taught me that relationships that turned sour whether it be with friends or a lover aren’t necessarily a bad thing and that it’s part of life that can make you better. It asks the viewer to consider their own memories, for better or for worse, and discover the role those events had in shaping who they are. I, for one, have had my fair share of very tough experiences that I don't like remembering, but do I regret them? Not one bit. We can’t live our life thinking that our relationships are all going to go well, there will be friends who leave you, lovers to break-up with you, maybe even family members who don’t believe in you but the most important thing is to take all of it with a grain of salt. It may suck at the start, but one must understand how all of it can end up benefiting you in the future, the choice is yours and it’s up to you if you want to prove them wrong or not; but if you do the latter then there may be a reason why they see you in a negative light. This movie also touches on the theme of regret, and how memories shouldn’t just be forgotten or in the movie, deleted. They are more than simple thoughts stored in the mind, as they shape the core of the self. People need both the good and the bad memories or relationships in order to learn and grow to make them who they are. Further, the film shows the power of human impulse and nature, as despite their best efforts, Joel and Clementine wind up with each other again.
The beauty of cinema and television is that it portrays aspects of life that us the audience may not have yet experienced. Or even greater, recreating a past that is all too familiar. Black Mirror’s episode “Hang the DJ” perfectly depicts the notion of passion: its wonders, its pitfalls. In the future, a dating program gives people an expiration date in all their relationships until they have found their perfect match. Frank and Amy are part of this program and the two have an expiration date of only 12 hours, they immediately click and fall in love leaving them both bummed that it was only a 12 hour relationship. They get paired again about a year later, and they both decide to not check the expiry and to just enjoy each other’s company, Frank ends up breaking this promise and the expiry goes from 5 years to now just a few hours.
This episode taught me how trust and empathy are so vital in our own personal relationships. If Frank never checked the expiry and if he empathized with Amy, they would have 5 long years together and would have possibly even been the perfect match which was the whole purpose of the program. We can relate this with our friends, family and lover as a wake up call that everything is temporary so we should appreciate and cherish them while we still have them.
If relationships never happened, you would not be able to tell the real you. Relationships give you the chance to interact with the people you are closest to. If relationships did not occur, life would be boring; you would not be able to share your thoughts or gain someone’s respect. If my relationships with my friends and family ended, I would have nothing to look forward to when a day was bad, or if you just needed to have a good time. Relationships make people know who a person really is. Genuine human connection enables us to distinguish this idea of “I” with someone other than ourselves
As a psychology major, people are inclined to interact. We are sociable beings. No man is an island. It is true that our personal relationships make us realize our full potential, capabilities, and qualities that we do not even see alone in ourselves, but what is more important than all of this is the relationship we have within us. The importance of Self-Care today comes in. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You have to look after yourself first in order to have something to offer to others. Since it a relationship, it is a give and take scenario. It must be a collaborative work. But before that check on yourself if you are worthy.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this, self-love is definitely important before engaging in any sort of relationship. If you think lowly of yourself, you'll get the idea that you're not good enough to be friends with the popular ones or be in a relationship with the pretty girl or handsome guy. It is true that sometimes we need to separate ourselves first if we feel we still need to make some changes on our part.
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